 |
Kabelka s frndou a varlatový batoh jsou rozhodně milé extrémy gendrových diskuzí :-)
Nicméně myslím, že to, co se projevuje v gendrově "nerovném" chování jsou často drobné věci, které si ani neuvědomujeme.
Před časem mě zaujal článek, ve kterém sdílel svoji zkušenost muž, který býval ženou. Viděl to tudíž z obou stran a mohl porovnat změny v tom, jak se k ní (a posléze k němu) chovalo okolí. Co vy na to?
Co z toho považují muži ze strany svého okolí vůči nim za samozřejmé a neuvědomují si, že vůči ženám se okolí (a často i oni sami) chová jinak.
A naopak - máte jako ženy podobnou zkušenost?
So here’s a (very) short list of the everyday ways people have changed their behavior toward me – for no logical reason whatsoever.
1. I’m Suddenly Funny
I’ve always been dry, sarcastic, and satirical with my humor.In Ye Olden Times, I was considered unfunny at best – and a bitch at worst.Now that I’m a short white guy, people automatically peg me for a comedian and laugh at the bulk of my mouth zings.But nothing has changed. I’ve even recycled some of my old material that people didn’t find funny before just to make sure.
2. Yet I’m Still Taken (More) Seriously
I’m still amazed at the amount of people that now immediately shut their mouths the second I open mine. Believe me, my ideas haven’t improved at all. I’ve even tried to derail serious conversations with ludicrous stuff just to see what would happen – and I’d still be regarded highly.
3. I Rarely Get Interrupted
I used to be interrupted so often while presenting as a woman that I in turn started to talk over people as a form of conversational survival.Unfortunately, because it became so ingrained in me, I still find myself doing it from time to time even though it’s rarely necessary anymore.
4. I Get Paid More
The proof is in my paychecks. Actual, numerical proof.
5. It’s Easier for Me to Be Poor
Aside from usually getting paid more, it’s been easier to find work when the person doing the hiring is a white guy. It’s like helping out a buddy or something.
6. My Clothing Is More Practical
And better made and longer lasting and cheaper and less judged…
7. I Get a Ton of Free Passes
For the record, I’ve never done anything horrific enough to invoke the all-saving phrase of “Boys will be boys,” but I often forget to watch my mouth in front of superiors and authority figures. And while I was getting into tons of trouble for the smallest thing through school and my earliest jobs, these days I can’t recall a single time I’ve been called out or reprimanded.
8. I’m Not Held Accountable for Keeping Rape from Happening
I remember all of the rape prevention education I got, which always focused on how I should behave, where I should walk when, how to appropriately cover my drink, and so on. These days, I’m told nothing. Not even not to rape.
9. I’m Very Likely to Arrive Home Safely After Walking Alone at Night
Assuming nobody is out looking to f-g bash, but that’s a somewhat different matter. It remains that I walk alone at night far more than I used to purely because I’m a dude.
Put up my hoodie, and people have even been known to cross the sidewalk to avoid passing me.
10. I Don’t Have to Worry About Keeping an Eye on My Drink at Parties and Social Gatherings
Unless it’s at a gay venue where there seem to be some questionable, creepy chickenhawks around, drink safety doesn’t even cross my mind anymore.
11. I’m Not Told by Strangers (Or Anybody Else) to Smile
Not once has it happened since. Not once.
12. I Don’t Have Strangers Giving Uninvited Opinions About My Body as I Pass By
(Or then expecting me to thank them for it). Again, not once has this happened in the usual, everyday world.
13. I’m Allowed to Have Body Hair
‘Nuff said.
14. I’m Allowed to Grow Old
And likely will even be considered “handsome” or “sophisticated” because of it.
15. I’m Allowed to Eat Without Being Policed
I’m actually still really damn skinny, but people no longer do things like judge me about what I’m eating or ask if I should be eating it at all.
16. My Abilities Speak Louder Than My Appearances at Work
When I work on-site gigs, I tend to just wear jeans and a t-shirt. Nobody cares. It’s all about the quality of my work.
17. The Bulk of Porn Is Made with Me in Mind
Well, the general sense of a guy who has any sexual interest in women. Even “lesbian” porn is often geared toward the male gaze.
18. Older White Guys Treat Me Like a Best Friend
Especially when I have to wear professional slacks and a tie, I’ve been amazed at how many strangers happily strike up conversation with me in this kind of…fatherly way. Their smiles are warm, their eyes are bright, and they seem eager to bestow any wisdom upon me that I could ever think to ask.
It’s like I’m automatically their patriarchal protégé or something.
19. I Can Be a Gamer Without Worry of Being Threatened, Insulted, or Demeaned
The gaming industry is still very much a man’s world. Female characters are frequently sexualized, brutalized, and demeaned when they’re represented at all – right along with the female gamers themselves.
20. My Comfort Comes Before Anyone Else’s
Nobody expects me to sacrifice a thing for them anymore.
21. I Have Significantly Less Sexual Liability
I can now have as much sex with as many people as I want and nobody says boo about it.
22. I’m Allowed to Take Up Space – And Lots of It
If I feel like spreading out on public transportation, nobody – regardless of gender – tells me to move over anymore. They just act like I have full right to be obnoxious. (Please note that I’ve only ever done this for experimental purposes.)
23. I’m Not Subject to ‘Soft’ Sexism
Being asked to grab someone their coffee, help decorate for a work party, or help clean up said party is simply a thing of the past.
24. People Think My Successes Have Been Made Purely By My Own Gumption
I’ve worked hard, sure, but I’ve also had plenty of luck and help. People just don’t question my supposed right to be praised anymore, nor imply that I earned what I earned by playing some sort of card. My same exact successes are somehow now all me, all hard-earned, and all things that had absolutely nothing to do with the cultural system we have in place.
25. I Can Say the Most Ridiculous Things Imaginable
And people will still think I’m right.
Některé jsou samozřejmě očekávané (vyšší mzda), jiné úsměvné (je OK neholit si nohy), ale je tam řada zajímavých drobných momentů, které dohromady skládají obrázek neuvědomělého sexismu, se kterým se - popravdě - setkávám občas také, přestože zastávám skutečně vysokou manažerskou pozici (a jsem schopná si to s těmi blbečky velmi rázně vyříkat).
Připomnělo mi to jednu starou a svým způsobem úsměvnou, i když velmi iritující historku. Kdysi před lety jsem byla obchodní ředitelka CK a na schůzku s Office manažerkou nového klienta jsem s sebou vzala nově přijatého obchoďáka. Juniorské ucho, o dvacet let mladší, očividně sotva po škole, s nulovými zkušenostmi.
Přestože jsme se představili a Office manažerka měla naše vizitky, obracela se s otázkami výhradně na přítomného MUŽE, který je se zoufalým pohledem přehrával na mě :-))
Stejně tak na schůzkách s externími partnery (dodnes), často automaticky očekávají, že zápis ze schůzky bude dělat přítomná žena - bez ohledu na to, jaké je její a jejich pracovní zařazení. |
